Lots of assumptions get made about intimacy in marriage. But if there’s one complaint I get frequently with my couples, it’s really down to how every one of the stress on the wedding is interrupting any intimate life. “We don’t mention anything but the marriage.” We’re exhausted. We just get into bed during the night, don’t talk, don’t cuddle.” “The stress has my head spinning.”
Stop! This is not how you want to develop your marriage and also you know what, it will not yield the very best wedding you could have, either. Because the not so great is you’re building habits. You’re stating that things are more vital than this intimate relationship (that you will be spending 1000s of dollars to celebrate). Once you start putting your relationship on the back burner, for whatever reasons, it begins to feel natural to do this. Obviously, you can find emergencies, but even so, you would like each other’s support.
What do you would like to do during the marriage planning process?
Dating: Ignoring your wedding reception prep. Go out to eat, exercise, picnic, walk, something that has nothing to do with wedding and everything about building and solidifying this fabulous relationship.
Talking: And not about wedding ceremony. Talk about work. Go on dates to movies, concerts or talks. Spend time building the habits that will aid you throughout your marriage. Being married to some partner in whom you’re interested keeps you married into a partner in whom you’re interested!
Doing Projects: And not for wedding. Keep up your charitable work, or start it. Clean out the garage or plant a garden. Make your bedroom to a haven for luxurious love-making. (then try it out!)
Making-Love: To tired out, to stressed after doing all of this stuff for the wedding ceremony? Love-making is a superb stress reliever. Being present and ready to accept your partner marvelous way to concentrate on what matters from the press of wedding making.
Seeing friends: And you guessed it, not just talking about wedding ceremony. But actually performing a wedding project with friends, as long as you can find other fun things involved like food and laughter can build intimate relationships, relax you and also get things accomplished. You just have to have the ability to let go on the fact that friends and family will not do things the same manner you would.
Checking in on family: This is actually a lot of fun to gather family stories. People are thrilled as you’re asking about them rather than talking about the marriage. And you’re developing a family relationship which will continue to offer the two of you forever. You’ll be interested in them as you have wonderful stories. They’ll be more invested in you and also your relationship as you cared enough ought to.
You’re working away at making a marriage here, not really a wedding. Spend time on what’s important (the both of you!). The bonus is the fact that you’ll have a fabulous time at the marriage because you’re head over heels crazy about one another. Walking around at the wedding with that blissful, can’t take my eyes off from you glow is much better than the needed got hit by the wedding ceremony planning hammer look. And guess which will make an even better marriage…